my thumbs are ugly
and bloody and bitty,
and dead skin dangles
'till i rip it off with my teeth.
i pick my lips too,
in class, perhaps,
or at 2am when i am too
tired to sleep,
i stretch it out so it's dry
and broken and tear it off
until i'm bleeding -
and then there's my forehead,
that horrid, uneven,
bumpy forehead, and without even
knowing my fingernails are there,
i am scratching, pulling, dragging.
other people seem to notice more than i do.
it's a subconscious thing,
and oh, i hate it, i hate it so much.
my thumbs are red raw and sore
and when people ask,
i tuck them quickly into my hands and keep
i do not want to talk about it.